“I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it. I don’t believe it makes me real. I thought it’d be easy, but no one believes me. I meant all the things that I said….”
Yes, I know that we’re just friends but I just couldn’t accept that. I love you so much and I don’t want to be “just” friends, I want to be more than that. And obviously I don’t want to be just another girl to you. But I’m not blaming you, in fact I blamed myself for fucked up this relationship.
Sometimes I pray to God that one day, He will change me into someone you really wanted. Someone perfect for you but His not answering any of my prayers and it’s pretty sad.
I love him so so much and it is my fault for not showing my true love towards him. I just don’t know what was I thinking, maybe I’m just to shy to show it to him. But I shouldn’t be shy. I mean, he and I did a lot of things together and why am I backing away? Gees Anna, don’t be such a coward.
But what should I do? I did be sweet and caring towards him like sending him time line cute messages, making two albums for him on how much I misses him and I am controlling myself for never be my old self again. Where did I went wrong? Did I went too far? Or am I too cheesy or something?
I have one secret I would love to share.
Every night without fail, before I went to bed I will go to my facebook photo album and look at the photos of us. Tears starts streaming down. Sorry if I’m being too dramatic but it’s the honest truth. And I will always kept thinking to myself that why am I being so devilish towards a nice, kind and loving guy like him. I must have been the stupidest girl in the world but also the luckiest as he still stay and be there beside me.
Love, has always been a crazy ride for me. But when I met him, I see love in a different aspect, a much more better and realistic one. I should grow up and accept the fact that the world doesn’t revolves around me only. Yeah, we are just friends for now but I won’t stop trying. I don’t mind if it takes a long time or forever as he is the love of my life.
